Eric Shares Strategies to Manage Resentment While Caring for Mom

Many caregivers feel neglected, especially when tasked with the significant responsibility of looking after aging family members. One primary caregiver shared his experience of caring for a 99-year-old mother with dementia, highlighting the emotional toll and frustration stemming from his siblings’ lack of involvement.

Challenges of Caregiving

Despite having five siblings, the caregiver frequently finds himself alone in managing their mother’s care. She resides in an assisted-living facility and needs consistent support. Regular visits, medical appointments, and financial oversight have become his sole responsibility, leading to anxiety over her care and finances.

Communication Difficulties

To keep his siblings informed, he sends email updates about their mother’s well-being and the complexities of her Medicaid transition. Unfortunately, responses are rare. A recurring sentiment in their replies is a generic appreciation, which fails to acknowledge the effort he puts into caregiving.

Emotional Strain

The caregiver has reached out to his siblings, asking for more acknowledgment of his efforts. His plea for a simple thank-you led to a lackluster response, heightening his feelings of frustration and isolation. He contemplates distancing himself from them due to their perceived indifference.

Strategies to Manage Resentment

Feeling undervalued is common among caregivers. Many individuals in similar situations experience anger and exhaustion, particularly when their needs go unmet. Here are some strategies to manage these feelings effectively:

• Seek Professional Support: Talking to a therapist can help process emotions and frustrations regarding caregiving.
• Build a Support Network: Connect with friends or support groups. Sharing feelings can provide relief.
• Set Boundaries: Determine how much you can give without feeling overwhelmed. It’s okay to step back.
• Redirect Energy: Focus on the positives of caregiving. Celebrate small victories in your mother’s care.

Support resources such as the Area Agency on Aging and the National Council on Aging offer guidance for caregivers. Accessing these benefits can provide additional assistance and alleviate some burdens.

Ultimately, managing resentment while caring for a parent is a challenging but navigable path. Finding ways to express and handle these feelings can lead to a healthier caregiving experience.