Tim Gunn explains why he's been celibate for 43 years

tim gunn has said he has been celibate for 43 years, and he laid out the reasons on a Feb. 19 (ET) podcast episode. He traced the decision to a nine-year relationship in Washington, D. C., that ended in 1982 and to the emotional and health fallout that followed — factors he says have shaped his approach to intimacy ever since.

Tim Gunn on the breakup

Gunn described a relationship that began in the mid-1970s and lasted nine years. He said the relationship ended one night while the couple were in bed watching the first run of a television episode; his partner told him, "I have no patience for you any longer. I want you to leave. " Gunn recalled driving back to his own apartment on Rock Creek Parkway and pulling off the road because he was hyperventilating and overwhelmed by self-reproach and grief. He also said he continued to encounter the person at work after the split, which compounded the pain.

Health fears and testing routine

More than emotional hurt drove Gunn's choice to step away from dating. He said his partner confessed to frequent infidelities during the relationship and that, with the emergence of the AIDS crisis in 1982, Gunn feared he might have been exposed to a grave health risk. He described moving from self-pity to "completely unbridled anger" and said he was tested for HIV every six months for a decade; the tests remained negative. Those repeated tests and the fear tied to that period are presented as a concrete, long-term factor in his decision to withdraw from sexual relationships.

Long-term effects and current stance

Gunn told the hosts that memories of the breakup still surface and can shut down romantic desire: "Whenever I was even tempted to engage in something that could become serious with someone, all this would come back like Niagara Falls, and it would just take the desire away, " he said. He later left Washington, D. C., for a teaching job at a design school in New York, and he described adjusting to living alone. Decades on, tim gunn said he has embraced that lifestyle and would not change it.

What the account shows and what comes next

The account offers two observable indicators explaining sustained celibacy: a traumatic, trust-breaking breakup and a prolonged period of health anxiety that prompted regular testing for 10 years. Those are concrete, stated reasons that the subject links directly to his present choices. Looking ahead, the conditional dynamic he described is clear: if memories of the breakup recur when he contemplates a relationship, the emotional response tends to remove desire, making renewed intimacy unlikely unless those reactions change.

• Key takeaways: a nine-year relationship ended in 1982; health fears and repeated testing followed; emotional aftermath has kept him celibate for decades.